marissa was here

UCLA

This hand-bound book is a collection of photographs taken on disposable cameras showcasing my road trips revisiting 5 of the 6 houses I grew up in throughout Southern California for the University of California Los Angeles’ Word and Image course. Alongside these images are screenshots capturing the houses’ appearances on the internet, demonstrating the harsh contrast between personal memory and reality. The passages featured throughout this book are audio transcriptions from voice recordings taken before, during, and after I revisited each home.

“Throughout my life, I’ve never lived in one set place long enough to be able to call it my home. It’s hard to answer whenever someone asks me where I grew up, because my childhood consisted of many different houses, schools, and people that molded me into the person I am today. I think about these houses and these places a lot, and often wonder if in the grand scheme of things my memories will hold any significance to all the places I’ve called home and the people who live there now. During a quick weekend getaway this past summer, I took a detour and returned to one of the small apartments in Santa Barbara, California, which was the first time I thought to revisit any of these homes. The experience was eerie; there were no children playing on the communal lawn or anyone outside during the middle of the day. It reminded me of when my grandmother died and my mother refused to let me help pack up her and my grandfather’s things in their house. This was because my mother wanted me to remember the home and my grandparents as they were in life. Everything was different, and I can’t help but wonder who lives there now. I want to be reintroduced to all the homes I grew up in and document the feeling I get through word and image. I want to know what these places look like and if they still have the same sort of life to them.”